15 ways to be a better mom

It goes without saying that mothers have an important role to play in their children's lives. Here are a few tips on how you can be a better parent to your child:

1. Respect and value your child

Always respect your children -- respect and listen to their views and values, their opinions. Give them your complete attention when they want to talk to you. Put whatever activity you are engaged in on hold, and if that's not possible, set a time for when you can chat, and make sure to stick to it.

Encourage your children every opportunity you get. Make them feel special and express your love for them often. Hug them, kiss them and say 'I love you' everyday, not just when they are young but also as they grow older. Let them feel your love and affection as often as you can.

2. Talk to your kids

Conversing with children is the best way to influence their ability and love for learning. Children who are spoken to often as infants will understand more words when they are toddlers and pre-schoolers than others. Communication also strengthens the mother-child bond and eases out the communication barriers, even as kids grow older.

3. Have fun with them

Mothers are so busy with their day-to-day routines that they forget to have fun with their children. Take out one-on-one time to enjoy with your child. Do something that both of you like -- indulge in outdoor games, art and craft, board games, go for a walk, chat, cook -- do anything at all that makes you feel good. Laugh together, tickle each other, dance, sing songs, just have FUN!

4. Read to your little ones

Reading to your children is the best way to inculcate a reading habit in them, which leads to a love of learning as they grow older. Reading also creates an emotional bond between parent and the child, whether it's lap-time reading, bedtime reading or any other way of doing it that you both enjoy. Moreover, it develops their imagination, creativity, vocabulary and communication skills.

5. Keep your children safe

All parents want to keep their kids safe. Remember to take the necessary precautions, whether it is making them sit in the backseat of the car while driving, or making sure that there is someone responsible with them at all times. Make sure your home is childproof, with electrical outlets out of reach, furniture edges rounded off, glass items out of the way etc.

6. Teach your children values

Make sure to impart good values to your kids -- it's the best gift you'll ever give them. Values are the foundation of a child's character. Teach your children values through everyday interactions, stories and by the way you conduct yourself. While story-telling, however, make sure you don't connect the story to the child. If, for example, you want to teach your little one about honesty, tell him/ her interesting stories related to it. Do not say, "You should behave in the same manner as so-and-so did and always tell the truth" -- the message will not sink in. To a youngster, this feels like nagging and moralising, which will go in one ear and out the other.

7. Be a good role model

Remember that your kids are watching you all the time and want to ape you in every possible way. Even very young children take in and listen to everything their parents say and do, so remain aware of your actions and behaviour around them. For example, if you talk rudely to the domestic help, you will not be very successful in teaching your children the value of politeness. Model the behaviour that you want them to develop.

8. Keep your kids healthy, but allow them their personal likes and dislikes when it comes to food

Provide nutritious meals for your children, but allow them to make their own choices about what they like or don't like. As long as you are providing them with nutritious options and not junk food, they will almost always make the right choices. With young children, try and be creative with their meals, so that it's fun for them. If, for instance, there is cooked vegetable and chapattis for dinner, fold some cooked veggies into each chapatti so that the kids can enjoy it as a roll.

9. Set rules and limits

A good mother is firm and flexible. Don't leave discipline only to a child's father. Set reasonable rules and limits and discuss them with your kids beforehand. Follow through with the consequences whenever applicable. However, there are times when you have to be flexible and ease the rules; times when youngsters are tired, sleepy, hungry or not well.

10. Be just and fair

Treat all your children in the same manner. However, don't try to be overly fair, as it will get in the way -- for example, if you are out shopping and spot a book that one of your kids needs for a reference project, you do not necessarily have to buy something for the other child. Similarly, bring the other child what he/ she requires when it's needed. As long as you are providing for both of them equally, they will understand and not make an issue. When you try to be overly fair, children tend to find faults with every little thing you do.

11. Don't interfere in your children's fights unless it's necessary

Allow your kids to settle issues on their own. As long as there is no bullying or physical violence, do not get involved in their fights. When you try to resolve their disputes, you will be required to take sides and this will not go down well with one of them. It is better to allow children to handle their own problems as far as possible. If they are not able to do it, or you feel like the situation is getting to you, ask them to play separately till they are able to be civil to each other and find a solution. You will be doing them a favour by teaching them the values of co-operation, problem-solving and compromise in the process.

12. Honour their father

One of the best things a mother can do is honour her children's father in front of them. Even if you are separated or divorced, never speak ill about your spouse in front of your children. Talk about him with respect and teach your children to respect him too.

13. Get the kids to interact with extended family

Get your children to bond with extended family -- uncles, aunts, cousins. Make an effort so that they interact with both the maternal and paternal sides. Even if you don't get along with your in-laws, teach your children to respect their grandparents. They will hold you in higher esteem for doing that.


14. Keep your self-respect intact

Always expect to be treated with respect by others in the presence of your kids and by your kids themselves. Do not allow anyone to cross a line. Maintain your dignity under all circumstances; be honest and keep your integrity intact always.

15. Take care of yourself

Sleep well and take out time for yourself. Keep yourself in good health. Remember, a happy, relaxed mother can give more of herself to her children and family than an overworked, tense parent.

101 Ways to Make You Smile

01. Call an old friend, just to say hi.
02. Hold a door open for a stranger.
03. Invite someone to lunch.
04. Compliment someone on his or her appearance.
05. Ask a coworker for their opinion on a project.
06. Bring cookies to work.
07. Let someone cut in during rush hour traffic.
08. Leave a waitress or waiter a big tip.
09. Tell a cashier to have a nice day.
10. Call your parents.
11. Let someone know you miss them.
12. Treat someone to a movie..
13. Let a person know you really appreciate them.
14. Visit a retirement center.
15. Take a child to the zoo.
16. Fill up your spouse's car with gas.
17. Surprise someone with a small gift.
18. Leave a thank-you note for the cleaning staff at work.
19. Write a letter to a distant relative.
20. Tell someone you thought about them the other day.
21. Put a dime in a stranger's parking meter before the time expires.
22. Bake a cake for a neighbor.
23. Send someone flowers to where they work.
24. Invite a friend to tea.
25. Recommend a good book to someone.
26. Donate clothing to a charity.
27. Offer an elderly person a ride to where they need to go.
28. Bag your own groceries at the checkout counter.
29. Give blood.
30. Offer free baby-sitting to a friend who'sreally busy or just needs a break.
31. Help your neighbor rake leaves or shovel snow.
32.. Offer your seat to someone when there aren't any left.
33. Help someone with a heavy load.
34. Ask to see a store's manager and comment on the great service.
35. Give your place in line at the grocery storeto someone who has only a few items.
36. Hug someone in your family for no reason.
37. Wave to a child in the car next to you.
38. Send a thank-you note to your doctor.
39. Repeat something nice you heard about someone else.
40. Leave a joke on someone's answering machine.
41. Be a mentor or coach to someone.
42. Forgive a loan.
43. Fill up the copier machine with paper after you're done using it..
44. Tell someone you believe in them.
45. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
46. Welcome new neighbors with flowers or a plant.
47. Offer to watch a friend's home while they're away.
48. Ask someone if they need you to pick upanything while you're out shopping.
49. Ask a child to play a board game, and let them win.
50. Ask an elderly person to tell you about the good old days.
51. During bad weather, plan an indoor picnic with the family.
52. Buy someone a goldfish and bowl.
53. Compliment someone on their cooking andpolitely ask for a second helping.
54. Dance with someone who hasn't been asked.
55. Tell someone you mentioned them in your prayers.
56. Give children's clothes to another familywhen your kids outgrow them.
57. Deliver extra vegetables from your garden to the whole neighborhood.
58. Call your spouse just to say, I love you.
59. Call someone's attention to a rainbow or beautiful sunset.
60. Invite someone to go bowling..
61. Figure out someone's half-birthday by adding 182 days,and surprise them with a cake.
62. Ask someone about their children.
63. Tell someone which quality you like most about them.
64. Brush the snow off of the car next to yours.
65. Return your shopping cart to the front of the store.
66. Encourage someone's dream, no matter how big or small it is.
67. Pay for a stranger's cup of coffee without them knowing it.
68. Leave a love letter where your partner will find it.
69. Ask an older person for their advice.
70. Offer to take care of someone's pet while they're away.
71. Tell a child you're proud of them.
72. Visit a sick person, or send them a care package.
73. Join a Big Brother or Sister program.
74. Leave a piece of candy on a coworker's desk.
75. Bring your child to work with you for the afternoon.
76. Give someone a recording of their favorite music.
77. Email a friend some information abouta topic they are especially interested in.
78. Give someone a homemade gift.
79. Write a poem for someone.
80. Bake some cookies for your local fire or police department.
81. Organize a neighborhood cleanup and have a barbecue afterwards.
82. Help a child build a birdhouse or similar project.
83. Check in on an old person, just to see if they're okay.
84. Ask for the recipe after you eat over at someone's house.
85. Personally welcome a new employee at workand offer to take them out for lunch.
86. While in a car, ask everyone to buckle upbecause they are important to you.
87. Let someone else eat the last slice of cake or pizza.
88. Stop and buy a drink from a kid's lemonade stand.
89. Forgive someone when they apologize.
90. Wave to someone looking for a parking space whenyou're about to leave a shopping center.
91. Send a copy of an old photograph to a childhood friend.
92. Leave a pint of your spouse's favorite flavor ofice cream in the freezer with a bow on it.
93. Do a household chore that is usually doneby someone else in the family.
94. Be especially happy for someone whenthey tell you their good news.
95. Compliment a coworker on their role in a successful project.
96. Give your spouse a spontaneous back rub at the end of the day.
97. Serve someone in your family breakfast in bed.
98. Ask someone if they've lost weight.
99. Make a donation to a charity in someone's honor.
100. Take a child to a ballgame.

And last, but not least...

101. Forward this list to your favorite people!

12 ways to be a better dad

What do I do with a three-year-old who's grabbing my trouser leg just as I am on an important call?'

'I don't really want to play house-house or hide and seek or football after a long, hard day at work.'

'I'd rather watch the news/ financial channels, instead of watching cartoons.'

'How am I going to get this adamant child to eat his food?'

'Isn't this all in the mommy's domain? Isn't my role that a provider?'

And that last is a wail for help! If these questions plague you, then you must be a Dad. And here's what you can do to remove the struggle out of being Daddy.

1. Spend time with your children

How much time a father spends with his children tells them how important they are to him. Spend at least 15 minutes everyday having FUN with your children on a one to one basis, more when you can.

Find something that both of you enjoy, be it a sport, board games, laughing together, tickling, dancing, painting� absolutely anything that is fun for both of you!

Remember, just filling their cupboards with toys and other material things is not going to build the bond, spending time together is what will get you closer.


2. Respect your children

Talk politely to your children. It is very important for us to respect to them if we want them to respect us.

Listening to them when they are talking, not interrupting their conversations, allowing them to make some of their own decisions, all go a long way in showing respect.

3. Communication is important

Talk to your children. Talk about their day-to-day routines and tell them about yours. Be aware of your child's life, know their friends, the activities they do, their hobbies, and their interests. Get to really know your children.

4. Don't just hear, LISTEN

When children talk, what they are saying is very important to them. Don't jump in and start giving advice, just listen to them. Try and understand the feelings behind the words.

Even if the talk seems childish patter to you, it is very important to listen, to really listen to your children.

Be available for them. Keep the newspaper aside, switch off the television, put your mobile on silent. Maintain eye contact and give them your undivided attention

This will tell your children how important they are to you. It will go a long way in increasing their self-esteem and also set the stage for more meaningful conversations, as your child grows older.

Though if your children come to you at one of those times when you are really busy, tell them you will listen to them once you are done. Fix up a time -- it could be half an hour later -- to listen to what they have to say, and make sure to follow through with it.

5. Teach and encourage

Many times fathers think teaching is something their spouses or the school has to do. But a father who teaches his children about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his children make good choices.

Fathers who are involved in the daily routines will teach their children the basic values of life through everyday examples.

6. Discipline with love

All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits.

Discipline should always come from a place of love to teach the children responsible behaviour.

You have to keep in mind that as the child grows older, the freedom should be increased and the limits have to be reduced. Take something as simple as bedtime. An older child can stay up till a much later time than a younger one.

Use choices where possible, though always remember that the choices given should be acceptable to you. Use positive forms of discipline such as logical consequences; wherein the consequence is connected to the misbehaviour.

For example, if the crayons are not put in the box after using them, the child loses the privilege of using them for maybe two days. Be sure to discuss this with your child beforehand and follow through with it the next time the situation occurs.

7. Demonstrate your love

Children need the security of being loved and accepted by their families. Showing affection is a wonderful way to demonstrate the love you have for your child. Hug them, kiss them and be there for them at all times.

Let them know they have your unconditional love and support. This will strengthen the parent-child bond and make your discipline and communication an easier process.

8. Respect your child's mother

One of the best things a father can do for his children is to respect their mother. If you are married, keep your marriage strong. Show your love and affection for your spouse. When you have a conflict, demonstrate how two people can make up. This teaches your children a lot about relationships.

If you are divorced, it is still important to respect the mother of your children. Don't ever badmouth your spouse in front of the children. When children see you respecting each other, they are more likely to feel accepted and respected as well.

9. Eat together as a family

Mealtimes are special times for bonding as a family. Sharing a meal together is an important part of healthy family life (breakfast, lunch or dinner).

Besides providing stability to busy days, it is a wonderful opportunity for the entire family to share the happenings of their lives with each other. It is a time of togetherness and strengthening the family ties.

10. Take your children for outings

Take your children to the zoo, museums, the beach. Take them for walks; take them swimming, bowling, to the park. Take them to the temple. Fly kites with them, play Holi with them.

Give them your undivided attention and take the opportunity to teach them at these times. Spend time on a one-to-one basis or as a family. But, most importantly, enjoy yourself with them!

11. Be involved in your children's lives and make them feel important

Give priority to your children over other things and other people. Attend parents' days, sports day, annual day celebrations and any events they are participating in or which are important to them.

No matter what you say to them, children know you would give your time to those things and those people who are important to you. Remember this the next time you have to take a decision on whether to attend an event that is important to your child.

Being a part of their important days will not only build your child's self esteem but also go a long way in strengthening your relationship with them.

12. Be a good role model

Practise what you preach. Don't tell your kids that honesty is the best policy and then ask your spouse to say you are not at home when an unwanted person calls.

Children will model themselves on your actions more than your words.

When you make promises, even to your children, follow through with them. Be the same
man behind closed doors as you are in public. This will increase the respect your children have for you.

Kissing Tips

1. Relax
   


2. Move gently to your partner and put your arms around them.
   
   


3. Move your mouth towards them and your lips meet, keep them slightly parted and press gently against their lips. Move your head a little to the side, so your nose won't get in the way.
   


4. What you do next depends on their reaction. If they respond then carry on kissing if you sense no active response then move your lips apart slowly and gently let go of your partner and look into their eyes.
   


5. If you feel that the signals are right then again gently start to kiss your partner and if they respond then you can begin to kiss a little more passionately.
   


6. The golden rule is be gentle and try to read your partners feelings.

More Tips

1. If either of you wears glasses, just take them off if you wish before kissing.


2. If either partner wears braces, the important thing is not to press too hard against their lips.


3. A sure way to ruin a kiss is with bad breath use mints or similar beforehand.


4. A non smoker may not enjoy kissing a smoker, use mints as above.


5. Can you "catch something" by kissing? Yes anything from a cold to a serious sexually transmitted disease. Kissing is not 100% safe so if you are concerned or worried ask your partner if they are ill and don`t kiss them if you do not feel safe.

10 tips for optimizing mysql queries

1.use the explain command
Use multiple-row INSERT statements to store many rows with one SQL statement.

The explain command can tell you which indexes are used with the specified query and many other pieces of useful information that can help you choose a better index or query.

Example of usage: explain select * from table

explanation of row output:

table—The name of the table.
type—The join type, of which there are several.
possible_keys—This column indicates which indexes MySQL could use to find the rows in this table. If the result is NULL, no indexes would help with this query. You should then take a look at your table structure and see whether there are any indexes that you could create that would increase the performance of this query.
key—The key actually used in this query, or NULL if no index was used.
key_len—The length of the key used, if any.
ref—Any columns used with the key to retrieve a result.
rows—The number of rows MySQL must examine to execute the query.
extra—Additional information regarding how MySQL will execute the query. There are several options, such as Using index (an index was used) and Where (a WHERE clause was used).

2.use less complex permissions
The more complex your permissions setup, the more overhead you have. Using simpler permissions when you issue GRANT statements enables MySQL to reduce permission-checking overhead when clients execute statements.

3.specific mysql functions can be tested using the built-in “benchmark” command

If your problem is with a specific MySQL expression or function, you can perform a timing test by invoking the BENCHMARK() function using the mysql client program. Its syntax is BENCHMARK(loop_count,expression). The return value is always zero, but mysql prints a line displaying approximately how long the statement took to execute

4.optimize where clauses Remove unnecessary parentheses
COUNT(*) on a single table without a WHERE is retrieved directly from the table information for MyISAM and MEMORY tables. This is also done for any NOT NULL expression when used with only one table.
If you use the SQL_SMALL_RESULT option, MySQL uses an in-memory temporary table

5.Run optimize table
This command defragments a table after you have deleted a lot of rows from it.

6.avoid variable-length column types when necessary
For MyISAM tables that change frequently, you should try to avoid all variable-length columns (VARCHAR, BLOB, and TEXT). The table uses dynamic row format if it includes even a single variable-length column.

7.insert delayed
Use insert delayed when you do not need to know when your data is written. This reduces the overall insertion impact because many rows can be written with a single disk write.

8.use statement priorities
Use INSERT LOW_PRIORITY when you want to give SELECT statements higher priority than your inserts.
Use SELECT HIGH_PRIORITY to get retrievals that jump the queue. That is, the SELECT is executed even if there is another client waiting.
use multiple-row inserts

9.Use multiple-row INSERT
statements to store many rows with one SQL statement.

10.synchronize data-types Columns with identical information in different tables should be declared to have identical data types so that joins based on the corresponding columns will be faster.

50 WAYS TO CONFUSE, WORRY, OR JUST SCARE THE PEOPLE IN THE COMPUTER LAB

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.

6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.

7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.

10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.

14. Light candles around your terminal before starting.

15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."

16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohp leaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"

18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).

19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.

21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2" disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.

24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisely. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.

26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Grind some more. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.

27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.

28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them on top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.

30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.

32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.

36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.

40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

41. Stare at the screen of the person next to you, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.

43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hangup before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.

45. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.

46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.

47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.

48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.

49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".

50. Two words: Tesla Coil.